I am a man, God, and I have been taught that I should be strong and show no weakness. My wife needs me to be strong; I cannot and I must not be weak and lean on her.

It is only with You that I can be honest, Lord, and even with You I am ashamed to admit it, but I want to cry. I can feel the tears securely dammed up behind eyes that want to burst. There is a voice in me that shouts,
BE STRONG!   BE A MAN!   SHOW NO WEAKNESS! SHED NO TEARS!

But there is another voice inside that speaks softly and somehow I feel it is Your voice, Father. Is it You Who tells me that I am also a feeling human being who can cry if I need to?

Is it Your voice that tells me that maybe my wife needs the tenderness of my tears more than she needs the strength of my muscles? You are right, Lord, as always. My wife needs to see my grief. She needs to feel the dampness of my tears and know the aching of my heart. Then, just as we became one to create this life, we become one in our grief which mourns this death.

I think I understand, Lord. It is in sharing the awful pain of my grief that I become an even stronger man. It is in sharing my tears that I share my true strength. Oh, God, help me to communicate my deepest and most sensitive feelings to my wife so that we may become whole together.

~ Norman Hagley ~
~ The Compassionate Friends, Palestine, TX ~

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