When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."
And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have
to look up to?"
And when God made a father's hands, they were large and sinewy. And the angel shook
her head sadly and said, "Do You know what You're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They
can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove
splinters caused by baseball bats."
God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy
empties from his pockets at the end of a day.yet small enough to cup a child's face."
Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. The angel nearly had a heart
attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do You
realize You just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him
without the kid falling between his legs?"
God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a
sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the
circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the
angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do You honestly think those
large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk
through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"
And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who
wants to "ride a horse to Banbury Cross" or scare off mice at the summer cabin,
or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm authoritative
voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant.
Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said,
"Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?"
And the angel shutteth up!
~ Erma Bombeck ~
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